A lot of funny stuff happened in this incredible Heat Vs Bulls NBA game, and I'm going to break it down a bit. First, the obvious: LeBron very literally leaped over John Lucas and threw down a massive alley-oop. This dunk closely resembled what happens when I play my little brother on our 7 foot hoop. The only difference is I'm not a freak athlete, I don't have the same beard as Spartan King Leonidas, and I my mom wasn't slayed by that squirrelly shit Delonte West- So pretty much the same thing.
Another great aspect of this game was the sheer athleticism. Whether it was LeBron and Wade tossing up alley-oops to each other, or Rose performing back to back circus layups, the athleticism was mind blowing. I mean, maybe the one downside is Kyle Korver. That scrub looks lost out there, just getting bounced around by LeBron, Bosh, and Haslem, never getting to close to the paint because he knows his frail bones will get smashed to bits. On the upside for Korver, the guy can always get a job as an Ashton Kutcher impersonator.  |
| Guess which one is Korver... |
Oh heres another one: Carlos Boozer's own child chanting lets go Heat. What a clown, C'mon Carlos at least teach your own kid what team your on. Wait, just remembered another funny moment: When that LeBron ad aired with LeBron telling kids to dedicate time to their education. Are you fucking kidding LeBron? You went to highschool just to get drafted, and then when you did get drafted, you completely skipped college. How dare you try to tell kids to dedicate time to school, thats pretty much the same as Brett Farve trying to inform kids of the dangers of sexting.
And why the hell can't LeBron or Rose shoot free-throws, it looked like a pee-wee house basketball game out there from the line. Rose could have given the bulls a lead with 20 seconds left but missed both his free-throws. Then, Lebron could have put the game away but missed his as well. That's trash, aren't you guys the two best players in the league? Then why did you guys both miss game changing free-throws, thats horse hockey!
And why the hell can't LeBron or Rose shoot free-throws, it looked like a pee-wee house basketball game out there from the line. Rose could have given the bulls a lead with 20 seconds left but missed both his free-throws. Then, Lebron could have put the game away but missed his as well. That's trash, aren't you guys the two best players in the league? Then why did you guys both miss game changing free-throws, thats horse hockey!
So in conclusion, this game was a cluster-fuck of bad calls, missed free-throws, funny reactions, heinous amounts of athleticism, and a lots of LeBron posterizing other players.
-Blaine Swaggert
Maybe Lebron should jump when he shoots his foul shots. I know a guy who does and isn't half bad either.
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