Anyway, some real hilarious stuff happened during the week and I really need to comment on it. So I'm just going to combine a few things that should be separate posts into one because its my blog and you guys aren't the boss of me.
#2: Walt 'Clyde' Frazier Gets a Twitter: Clyde is probably the most hilarious announcer on TV. He is so senile and cocky these days, he sounds like my uncle John after 12 Blue Moons at our family Christmas party. He's the man. The other day during the Knicks vs. Heat game he was saying that LeBron probably wouldn't have been as good as him during his day because the rosters in the league were a lot more balanced. Yeah, totally Clyde, why would a 6'8" 260 pound freight train that can defend and literally get to the basket at will be good against a bunch of "balanced" 6'4" white people with good "fundamentals". Remember Keith Van Horn? He had good fundamentals too. So follow this guy if you have a twitter. SELF PROMO: Follow me too @EnnDee23 for more links to bullshit articles that are written by me and Blaine.
#3: Stilman White. Yup.: No way this is a real thing. I'm scared to even try to make a flurry of jokes because I might miss one, and because this is, in itself, a joke. I was just admitted to the THE University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, so obviously I was watching them beat the shit out of NC State the other day when a miracle happened: A 6'0" 150 lb. pale-white nerd with birth marks up and down his arm checked into the game for his backup Point Guard shift that consists of literally 3 minutes. His name, of course, is STILMAN WHITE. No fucking way. You know what? TSizzle is great, but this dude's parents are the real heroes here. Having the foresight to name your son the nerdiest, whitest, most outrageously hilarious combination of letters cannot go unrewarded. They've earned their place in the UTBR hall of fame. That is for sure. I will never be a fan of an athlete more than I am a fan of the Stil MAN.
#4: Dwight Howard says Know Ya Role: So after the Magic blew like a 50 point lead against the Celdicks, Howard conducted an interview doing his best "I'm going to act sad to make it look like I still care about the Orlando Magic" impression. In his defense, this franchise has absolutely fucked him. He told them to go get players and they went out and got Gilbert the Gun-Wielder and Hedo Turkgolu. He will be gone next year, probably with Deron Williams somewhere sunny, and all the Magic will have to show for it is a bunch of Jameer Nelsons that need to KNOW YA ROLES.
#5: Carl Hagelin Makes NHL Rookie All-Star Team: This really isn't that funny because Carl is an absolute stud, but I haven't even mentioned my love for him yet on this site so I felt like today was the day to do it. Great hair: Check. Facial Symmetry: Check. Blazing Speed: Check. Projected friendship with all Swedish DJs including Avicii: Check. What a renaissance man.
By the way, is it just me or does everyone and their mother have a blog these days? I've seen some really dumb blogs out there on my Facebook mini-feed. Oh great, you're going to start a music blog? That's so original! I'm not coming after people that have been grinding blog-wise, but don't just do it for the ladies, guys. This is a life-style you posers. And if I wanted to hear about your trip abroad I would text you and ask you about it, so don't go blogging it. We're out here doing this with a purpose, people. Have some respect for our craft.
-ACL Blues
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