Wednesday, January 18, 2012

James Dolan is Such a Douchebag

So some sites that really have little to no reputation (Wikipedia, Google, Youtube, etc.) are blacking out today because of some ridiculous ghost story about some sort of "U.S. Government" passing some sort of "Federal Law" that prevents people like us from being outstandingly witty and hilarious and good looking on the web.  What the fuck is this Communist Russia?  I've always thought of copyright infringement as like Corporate plagarism.  So pretty much, when that one kid with the C- average and no notable skills to speak of plagarizes, he gets fucked.  Kicked out of prep school and whatnot.  But if that star athlete with the 6 D1 offers, or that Beethovenesque pianist, or that super hot blonde gets caught, well... I didn't see it.  Did you?  Guess what we are?  We're that kid with the C- average? Guess what Google and Wikipedia are?  Those aforementioned studs.  Guess who gets fucked? Us.

Well guess what Google?  You may black out today, but Blaine and I give the people what they want EVERY day, not just 364 per year, no matter how many years we'll have to do in Federal pound-me-in-the-ass (Haha, sorry 20th Century Fox!) prison.  Hardest working guys on the internet over here.  Needless to say, these websites might "blackout" today (Wow COOL!) but Blaine and I get our "blackout" on probably a lot more.  That's all I'll say about that.

What really belongs in the news is this: Rangers and Knicks Owner, and douchebag extraordinaire, James Dolan decided that he was going to put the worst kind of Hex (Oh I'm sorry little insignificant Government officials, was that infringement?) on the Rangers yesterday.  I was born in October of 1993, so you can bet when the Rangers won the cup 6 months later I was raging my face off in my crib.  But since then, the rangers have embarked on a decade and a half of Chris Drury years, and fucking last-game-shoutout-losses-to-the-fucking-Flyers-that-make-us-miss-the-playoffs.  The one thing that remains constant though?  The Rangers still have the biggest asshole in the world running their professional sports franchise, and no I'm not talking about Glen Sather.

Yesterday, after not talking to the media about hockey since, get this, 2006 (Are you fucking kidding me?) he decided to go out there and fucking brag about what a good job he had been doing.  He pretty much said that we'd win the Stanley Cup this year, and that that would be that (Dare me to try and use another 'that' in that sentence?). I could just choke that little smirk off his fat face.  Dolan why don't you crawl back into your hole in the ground and reconvene your domestic partnership with Isiah Thomas.  Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous before?  That's like me not posting for two weeks and then coming back and claiming we have the best blog on the internet.  Oh shit, I definitely did that.  Either way, this guy looks like a toad and manages like one as well.  What a dirtbag.

You got to love Rangers Head Coach John Tortorella though man.  This guy is fucking fearless.  He gets up right after the inept manager and says this:  "Now I got my owner up here talking about the Stanley Cup.  That's a bunch of bullshit."  What a BOSS MOVE (Seriously though, like if Google doesn't get some seriously highly paid lobbyists to stall this bill I'm going to be blogging from Riker's).  I love Tortorella so, so, so very much.

Well all the Hockey fans can stop reading now but I want to say this for all the Knicks faithful out there.  This too shall pass.  And so will our head coach.  Fire D'Antoni.

-ACL Blues

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