Championship Saturday Review: Keenum, RGIII, and Duh Hunnybadga

Tyrann D. Mathieu.  Now there's a specimen for you. When I get married I would allow him to impregnate my wife in the hopes that my weak-kneed, average athletic genes are replaced by ones of blinding speed, 50" verticals, the desire to just behead people on the football field, and I'd put up with the yellow mohawk thing as well.  He is the man.  Sure he probably gained more yards on punt returns in that game than total points on his SAT exam, but I would DEFINITELY party with this dude.  Can you imagine how fucking wild he is?  Like, is there an amount of beer that Tyrann Mathieu can't drink?  Is there an amount of women that he can't sleep with?  I don't think so.  This dude is a superhuman.   He is like the Anti-Palko.  The Dawgs came out pumped.  Aaron Murray threw 2 TDs that his dumbass receivers dropped.  I don't know the actual names of the receivers but when I play with them in NCAA 12 in Road to Glory mode their names are Justin Jackson and LaShawn Johnson if that helps out at all (which it won't).  But after that, the Honeybadger just started straight up killing them on PR's with a 62 yard TD and then another like 40-yarder where he broke in excess of 42 tackles.  My favorite part of the Honeybadger though is that he seems like he is just out there fucking around.  He never celebrates with his teammates whenever they make a good play, he just rides his little stationary bike and when they put him out there he just finds the ball on defense, and finds the endzone on special teams. I could almost hear him today just being like "Coach, this corner shit is too easy.  I wanna play runnin' back."  I would've let him too.

Case Keenum, the cinderella story QB of U of Houston, finally lost to Southern Miss' and his inadequate play was solely eclipsed by how many times they showed his fucking sister in the crowd.  Case throws TD... pan to sister jumping and cheering.  Case throws interception... pan to sister running fingers through hair and looking distressed.  I. Don't. Fucking. Care.  It was bordering on a Eva Longoria-Tony Parker or a Ray Allen-Ray Allen's Mom situation and I couldn't stand it.  Also, Case Keenum is in his sixth fucking year.  That's not fair at all.  What if they gave Tyrann six years?  The leading cause of death in the U.S. would be "death by quickslant".  Thats sort of bullshit, but I like Case either way.  P.S. how about that Southern Miss' coach calling a flanker pass when he's up 21 with 2 minutes left?  What a dick.

Finally, RGIII was awesome today as Baylor beat Texas 48-24.  I don't get why this guy isn't higher in the Heisman ratings, but I guess they're already giving that one away to Luck.  All he does is put up huuuuge numbers and play like a fucking boss on National TV.  I think he'll probably be the second best quarterback in the draft behind the "sure thing" Luck but ahead of a sure-to-be Sanchez 2.0 in Barkley, Landry Jones who just doesn't look that good, and Case Keenum who's been playing the likes of Lousiana Tech and North Texas all season.


So guys, how are you liking this newfound diversity?  Are the college sports posts doing it for you or should we stick to the pros?  Oh right, I won't find out because no one ever comments except for Buckflogger, who insists on reading our blog every day solely to make fun of us (Although he does make me laugh on occasion).

-ACL Blues