Thank God Toney Douglas and Mike Bibby do not have to play point guard for us in the playoffs. We got Baron Davis AKA True Warrior AKA Mr. Underdog AKA The Red Baron AKA B. Diddy AKA B.D. AKA The Bodyguard AKA Boom Dizzle. Sorry Bibby, take a seat man. You had about as many assists last season as Diddy's got nicknames. I won't have your racially-ambiguous ass (seriously, are we sure what exactly Bibs' ethnic background is?) taking anymore fucking corner three pointers while Amar'e stands wide open at the top of the key. Yeah ok that happened one time, in the preseason, but I don't care. Bibby shot something like 12% in the finals last year against the Mavericks. I could literally hear Tyson Chandler say "You signed THAT guy? Why would you do that? I didn't even know he was on the Heat last year in the finals" when we signed Bibs the day after Tyse. Toney D has also really not been cutting it as the Knicks' QB. He makes about as good decisions with the ball as Donte Stallworth does after a night drinking "at a swanky hotel bar". He also sort of reminds me of Marbury when he takes 7 seconds off the shot clock to bring the ball up past half-court, then pretends to call a play, takes two dribbles and shoots a 27 foot three-pointer. Really Toney? Stick to the undersized shooting guard roll, and go Florida State all over those pussies from Boston!
I know that Melo has moved into the "Point Forward" role. But that sounds more like the "Melo do everything for our team" role. That won't win us a championship. You don't see the patriots hand the ball to Brady and say "Ok Tom, throw the ball to yourself and get us a win".Baron Davis is so swagged out too. Forget James Harden, people have been fearing Dizzle's beard forever. This dude makes Turiaf look like a prepubescent. He is also going to wear number 85 this year, after the street he grew up on. Woooooow that's sick. If I could wear "Old Shop Rd." as my number I would definitely do that shit. What a fucking tribute to his boys back home (I guess mine wouldn't be as cool since I just have two neighbors and they both hate my family because we fucked up the zoning rights in our neighborhood or something).
Ha! I tricked you all! you thought the useless white-boy signing was Mike Bibby. Boy were you wrong. I do not feel nearly comfortable enough with Bibby's racial background to call him white. However this dude, Steve Novak, is about as white as they come. 6'10. No defense. No rebounding. But boy can he bury that long range J. Now everyone is calling him the D'Antoni protoype. If those are the rules for the D'Antoni prototype I can go down to the YMCA right now and find 6 guys that are perfect fits. I know nothing about this guy except that he has played in like 20 games his entire career. I know that he's probably not a good player because when I google him for pictures the top 5 images are pictures of him on 5 different teams. Not exactly a valuable commodity out there. Whatever, just a roster filler.
-ACL Blues
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