Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Andy Rautins' NBA Lockout Strategy


Well Occupy Manhattan, oh I'm sorry I mean the NBA Players Union (Boom!), decertified yesterday.  I literally have no idea what this means and I don't pretend to like all the kids up on their ivory towers that think they're experts in labor relations.  However, I do know that Stern and D. Fish fucked a bunch of recession-stricken, out-of-luck people out of one of their favorite sports for a whole year.  This also means that the NBA will be giving like 500 highly overpaid dudes in their mid-twenties free reign to do whatever they want for AN ENTIRE YEAR with no fiscal consequences.  Yikes.

I am coming off two consecutive ACL surgeries so the most athletic thing that I've done in the past 11 months is write this blog (and I just started doing this yesterday).  Anyway, it’s a really unhealthy lifestyle when you can treat your body horribly without any commitments to athletics, and constantly have an excuse about it.  Well, this is exactly what's happening with the NBA players but times 1,000.  "Dwight, why are you going out in Orlando for the 16th night in a row? Don't you think that's unhealthy for you?" "It's alright Stern locked me out, no parents, no commitments!"  Listen, I don't want to take sides in this whole matter but... its definitely the players fault.  Owners took an estimated 300 millions dollars in losses last year while the likes of Timofey Mozgov and Travis Outlaw made over 5 mill.  Thats like Steve Jobs taking a huge 300 million dollar hit every year while that asshole trendy hipster at the genius bar that fucking NEVER gives you a new phone (those rumors that you always hear about are false) makes 5 million dollars to spend on new v-necks and designer jeans.  Yeah that was a run-on sentence.

Anyway, time to get to the main part of this post: Andy Rautins, New York Knicks towel-waving white-boy, is living at home with his parents during the NBA lockout.  That’s pretty fucking hilarious.  He says that he's "actually saving a lot of money".  Oh really Andy? You mean drinking keystone in upstate New York with your High School buddies is cheaper than having to pay for Melo's shots of Ciroc at the bars in the city? So, while those idiots down in south beach blow their billion dollar contracts on supermodels and bar tabs, Rautins will be fucking all those High School chicks that wouldn’t have even looked at his red hair in High School and detonating Busch lights in the living rooms of sophomore girls.

-ACL Blues

No comments:

Post a Comment