Gronkowski Puts the TD in STD

    It is safe to say Rob Gronkowski, star TE for the New England Patriots, has been tearing up the playing field.  More impressive however, is Gronkowski's ability to tear up porn stars on the regular, and then plaster that shit all over the god damn internet.

Featured: Rob Gronkowski; Dirty disease
ridden porn star Bibi jones

       Gronkowski's season has been very impressive, heres a brief overview statistically: 8 TD's, 709 yards, 52 receptions, at least 1 porn star banged, 2 unfortunate encounters with the media, and STD's unknown. So the question remains--Does Rob Gronkowski have more TD's, or STD's?

       To answer this vital question one must delve deep into Gronkowski's shadowed and elusive history.  He attended Arizona and was known for his boisterous and hard-partying ways.  Incredibly enough, Gronkowksi managed to get a video of him grinding with slammies on top of a DJ booth on the internet as well (Shocker!!!). Thus, it is clear Gronkowski is an expert on internet mishaps.  Now this fact reveals a lack in critical thinking and judgment.  With this lack of judgement in mind, he was most likely far too busy giving a back massage to Bibi Jones and failed to remember his XL Magnum Black Condom in his new pair of jeans.  Furthermore, with a jawline that pristine and a body like a Greek God, dirty women and porn stars are slayed in bundles. So, it is safe to say while he was stacking bodies he was also amassing a bounty of STD's.  With all this in mind, I'd wager Gronkowski has between 6-8 STD's, successfully putting the TD, in STD.

-Blaine Swaggert