Saturday, November 19, 2011

NHL State of the Union: King Henrik, Flames Prospect is sick

So hockey has been more neglected on this site than it has been on ESPN for the last decade, which is saying something.  The rangers have been on a tear lately, winning 7 in a row which means 2 things: Tortorella hasn't even freaked out at the media yet this season, and that Henrik Lunqvist has been the best player on the ice so far.  The Rangers have allowed the fewest goals in the league this year, and its not even close.  Now part of this is due to the fact that everyone on the rangers (excluding Gabby and Richards) has been trained to play like a 3rd line scumbag that dumps the puck in constantly and throws more bows in the corners than Pacman throws 20's at nightclubs.  Girardi, Prust, and Cally have continued to lie down in front of 95 mile-per-hour clappers at an alarmingly unhealthy rate, which is to be expected at this point.  However, the other part is due to that Swedish heartbreaker, King Henrik.  Can you say Vezina Trophy?  No seriously, can you say it, I still don't know how to pronounce it and its become one of those words that I'm afraid to say in public because I don't want to sound like an idiot when I butcher it.


In other news, this dude who was drafted 45th in the NHL draft last year by the Calgary flames had a spectacular goal the other night, immediately garnering him the prestigious honors of my new favorite player on the Idrottsföreningen Kamraterna i Helsingfors.  Seriously though, how the fuck does the NHL draft work?  Like, in the NFL draft you take a look at insane athletes from the SEC and Big 12 conferences, and in the NBA draft you check up on UNC, Duke, and UConn to see how those players are doing (unless you're looking for a three-point specialist, then you go to the hockey countries).  But in Hockey you have to really span the globe.  Canada and the U.S. are a start but then you have to travel to Sovietsville to scout the KHL (Kruschev Hockey League?), and some other Eastern European countries that I'm too ignorant to pronounce the names of.  That's fucking terrible, like I thought it was weird enough that the NHL picks kids straight out of High School in the first round and then waits like 6 years for them to "mature" before they can play.  It's super frustrating for fans when they have to wait so long for a player they want to see right now.  That's why I propose this idea: Make me an NHL GM, did you hear that NHL commissioner? I'm not quite sure what your name is but its probably something like Rogergoodell Ofhockey.  So Mr. Ofhockey, I will collect all your premature NHL stars and start my own squad.  Think it over, I would sell out stadiums with my band of uber-skilled physically underdeveloped foreigners.  Just think it over, yeah its a shitty idea but it wouldn't be your first bad decision (Matt Cooke is still alive) or you're second (the Versus channel).


-ACL Blues

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